Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Great Weekend

I'm back from my trip home to Corning - it was great! I really enjoyed my time with my parents and seeing all my friends from work. Brent and Alexa had a good weekend just hanging out by themselves. Her and I get to do that all the time but it isn't very often that I am gone and they get to hang. They just hung around the house on Friday and then joined the group on Saturday afternoon for the Amazing Race. I hear it was loads of fun for all. The word from Brent is that the highlight of his night was watching Ashley run. For some strange reason he doesn't ever remember seeing her run. Although it rained and he wasn't too hip on playing in the rain at first, he says that he doesn't think it would have been nearly as fun if it was dry. He did want me to report on a few highlights..........he said that David's team cheats, Chris Vernon is way too competitive (it's been three days and he is still saying that his team won) and he gives a big shout out to whoever made the chocolate peanut butter brownies. You know Brent, it's all about the goodies!

I was worried that I might get back home and have a hard time coming back, but it was fine. You know, as usual, God came through in a very loud and clear way just before I left for Corning. I guess He just can't be subtle with me. I'm sure He gives me all sorts of chances, but when I don't respond, then He pulls the big guns out. I've really been struggling with getting out of this rut I've been in for the past several weeks. Alexa has been doing amazing and I think once she found her place here and I didn't have to pour all my energy into making sure she was settled, I then realized that I wasn't as stable as I thought I was.

I've never hated it here, but I am struggling with not knowing anyone when I go to the grocery store or not knowing my way around. We are such social creatures and it's been hard not knowing all our neighbors and having to drive to get anywhere we want to go. So, I knew that when I got back to Corning there would be a rush of "Phew - finally back to knowing my way around." I pulled into town and saw my old neighbor driving down the street and as I was in the parking lot of Wegman's I ran into someone I knew. So, where's this going you ask - stick with me. It will being to make sense soon. I do have a very bad habit of skipping around and only expressing half my thoughts so those of you who have any amount of sanity may have difficulty following me.

Part 2 - This entry was started 10/14....... It's now 11/15!  This is what you are in for if you are trying to keep up with us.

I was going to just trash this and start a new entry but I do want to finish my thought before I start a new entry.  It isn't going to be nearly as profound or organized but I do want everyone to see how God stepped in at the perfect time (as usual) and moved me to the next level.

About a week before I left for my trip I was driving to work and heard the new Sanctus Real song "Whatever You're Doing".  Needed to hear those lyrics.  Ever feel like something is directed at you and only you?  Well, this song must have been written specifically for me.  Every word rings true for me.  I won't bore you with the entire lyrics, but do want to list a few that are most meaningful to me.  "It's time for healing, time to move on, It's time to fix what's been broken too long"  "Time for a milestone, time to begin again, revaluate who I really am...Am I doing everything to follow your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills"  and of course the chorus - "Whatever you're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos somehow there's peace.  It's hard to surrender to what I can't see but I'm giving into something heavenly".

At the point that I heard that song, I realized I was still fighting God for control.   I knew so strongly that we belong down here but still was just floundering in how to let go and let God just do His thing.   I have to trust Him with everything and that's so hard to do.  I am real good at giving it up and then just as good and grabbing that rope and holding on as tight as I can to pull it back in again.  

So, like I said, not as profound as if I would have finished my thought when I was living it a month ago, but it still is a great reminder to me to trust God with our lives and He will do the rest.  It still isn't smooth sailing yet (never will be) but it's much better than it was a few months ago.  I will post now so this isn't another killer entry and begin a new one getting up to date on the last few weeks.